Ptiza’s favorite words are pamplemousse and aflojar. Pamplemousse means grapefruit in French, and aflojar means “to loosen” in Spanish, which I’m sure no one could give a shit about, but if you pronounce them like infamous Tucson, Arizona redneck car dealer Jim Click, they’re totally wacky. Here’s a practice sentence: “Come on down to Big Bob’s Hemis, Chevies, and Conversion Vans: We offer you Whitey’s Thirty Day Powertrain Extended Warranty! Tell ’em Boom-pa sent’cha!” See? PAM-pul-moose. AFF-low-jar.

Ian has very few theories as to what photography is or what makes a photograph art—he takes all of his photos one at a time with a rusted shovel and a plastic spoon.

The relationship between the two contributors is unclear. They may be siblings. They may be lovers. They may be both.